re: the apology......

here's a couple examples of the apology and a favourite image of a coyote i took a couple years ago.......it was on T'kemlups Indian Reserve........the skelep wasn't even scared of me.........she just kept watching........

anyway, i'm thinking it's time to move on.....or put serious thought to getting out of here......each time i come home from the road, i begin the usual scramble for cash.........and wonder, is this it? is this as good as it's ever going to get? i feel tapped out here, that i've gone as far as i can go from a remote location, now i need input and collaboration and stimulation........

i mean, i've been struggling here for years, and though i'm at a level where i catch a lot of planes and collaborate more, unless something incredible happens, is this it? will it be scrimp, scrounge and save until i die? keep living cheque to cheque? should i give up? should i teach? i just don't know.......

i also watch other artists on the road, and wonder why we do it? a push to create something, art, music or writing, or are they just markings on the wall?

no offence to where i live, coz in many ways i love it here, but when i come home, i keep wondering why i'm here........

i don't really hang out with anyone, and really just count the minutes until i head out of town for the next gig, or until i can see my kids........

not much of a life really........

cb