re: karma and success?

hello friends, fans, family, foe, liars, douchebags, lovers, and the like,

success, what does it mean?

i dunno, i mean, there is never any sort of feeling that you've fucken "arrived" at successes and fates doorway, it's just a nod of the head and a continual charge forward towards fucken oblivion, really.

people couldn't fucken care less, because they're wrapped up in they're own oblivion. So, what does that mean? Well, i guess that means, if you're at the stage where you're getting paid to do what you love to do creatively, instead of swinging a hammer, crankin' a wrench, diggin' a hole, smashing a cash register full of cash that ain't yours, hearing the clang of dishes, or generally some douchebag yellin' over your volume about what a shite job you are doing, then i guess you ain't fully realizing what you're potential is as a human being.

i've never, ever had that feeling that i've arrived, no, that's a fucken lie, when i got my first book deal back in 2005, when my life changed and i only look back in trepidation, i will never forget climbing the top of a mountain and playing this song by the datsuns........ever since then, it's been hell, but a hell i fight for every day.....

it was hazy daze on my mind ever since then, but it felt good to get that deal, to get that far, when most of my life i was told i'd never succeed and i'd be a failure. fuck them, those evil twats that said that, coz i see them now, and they're life hasn't changed, and my life continues to evolve, to grow, to see, to realize many things.

once was a failure, now seen ten times, twenty times, hell, a hundred times, a thousand times more than what i thought i would and anyone else would ever see, little wonder, my first book in 2005 was a memoir.

i remember reading on tour with all these geezers, who'd say to me, what gall i had writing a memoir in my early 30's. haha, i'd already lived 10 or 20 times they're lives, once they heard my stories, they shut the hell up....

now, i slog on, and move forward, because all the momentum carries me towards a future i want, and a future we'll all realize......

cheers,


cb.