man,
it seems like i've been here forever, but i've only been home three weeks, give or take a few days here and there away.......i really need to get it together and finish this album i'm working on.....all original tracks, bass, drums, guitars, vox.....catchy stuff......it's gonna be like a native version of faith no more......
tonight i drove around for about an hour, listening to the arctic monkeys, the sword and mark lanegan......at times, a small town seems so empty, so claustrophobic, and plain old dull......everything shuts down at six bells....
last night i had my kids and it was so amazing, god, when they go home it's such a big come down for me. i talked with their mum, and she told me i don't have to see or deal with what happens after i drop them off.....but, really, i do, because my life suddenly gets so hollow, and sometimes i just want to die coz it's so hard to be without them.
i miss my family so much, and i realize a lot of the mistakes i've made in the past with my ex, and i feel ashamed sometimes.......that i was so stupid. so stubborn. ack, just thinking about it makes me burn with shame....so many times in my life i've pissed it away, but not anymore.....i know the older you get, the less life and the cosmos gives to you, and starts taking.....but i'd give anything to have my kids, my family back......you know those moments in life that shine so bright, you never want those precious times to end.....
i should just shut up and get some sleep. no art today folks, i've been working with video stuff the past few days, but strangely, as i mentioned in the previous post, can't seem to upload any video anymore....wtf?
will be start working on new bold directions in my art very soon, so long as a potential key person doesn't back out......here's two fingers crossed on that one......
take care y'all......
cb
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