my honour......

during difficult times, as in, when my ex and i break up, for the tenth time......and i realize a few things.....i always turn to leonard cohen and charles bukowski for comfort, instead of, you know, a shrink or something......lame......

and this is one of the pomes that makes me feel less alone.......redux.......

my honour is in bad shape
i'm crawling at a woman's feet
she doesn't give an inch
i look good for thirty nine
but
thirty nine is thirty nine
i'm not even a fallen zen master
i'm this guy in casual clothes
like an aging skater
my lawyer took my words away
and locked them in a safe
i'm defenceless against
her arrogance
her youthful need to "spread her wings"
her amazingly well timed "card pulling"
on me
she has become surprisingly manipulative
but i know when the world is slow
she turns to me
for an easy victory
i'll rise up one of these days
find my way to the airport
i'll rise up and say
i loved you better than you loved me
and then i'll die for a long time
at the centre of my own dismal
lack of organization
and i'll remember today
the day when i was that asshole
in casual clothes
like an aging skater in denial
who couldn't take it any longer.......

paris/vancouver/kamloops 2009

cb